This is my personal blog. The opinions expressed here are mine alone and do not constitute the opinions of others including, but not limited to, former or current employers, clients, colleagues or friends. I rarely if ever utilize guest bloggers, but in the case that I do, the views expressed by guest bloggers do not necessarily reflect my views.
timeliness.
This blog is intended to provide opinions and/or teachable moments of a particular snapshot in time. As such, any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of-date posts may not be the same, nor remotely similar, to opinions presently held.
I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days. On one hand, I don’t want to give away too much of the story for those who haven’t yet seen the movie. On the other hand, there’s so much that I want to say because this movie, this story, was so intense and I’ve been wanting to discuss it ever since I saw it last week.
I’m not a big moviegoer. I have to feel there’s something special about a movie for me to want to make the effort to see it in the theater. After all, in most cases I can wait a couple of months and get it from Redbox for an eighth of the ticket price and watch it in my pajamas. Gotta love it! I can’t recall when/where/how I heard about this movie but when I did, I definitely had the feeling that it would be something special and I knew that I wanted to see it when it came to DC. Well, I was right. ‘Pariah’ is definitely something special.
Since the movie is still relatively new, I don’t want to give too much away. ‘Pariah’ shows the lead character, Alike, as she “strives to get through adolescence with grace, humor, and tenacity – sometimes succeeding, sometimes not, but always moving forward.” In a nutshell, it’s the story of a young girl coming to terms with her sexuality. As I write this, I’m wondering if it’s necessary for me to say “a young black girl.” I think so, because the whole black and gay, black and religious, black and (insert here) dynamic definitely comes into play throughout the film. Not to mention the fact that I would most likely have been less inclined to see the movie at the theater if it were not about a black girl. Of course this is not to say that I am not interested in the stories of others, but I see them all the time, so this was something different. I’m just saying.
I’m not Siskel or Ebert and this post isn’t intended to be an in-depth movie review. My review is “It’s great. Go see it. Two thumbs up!” This is about my experience.
I came to this movie having had a growing up experience much different than that of the lead character, Alike. But then again, not much different at all. Was/am I a lesbian? No. Did I have parents that, while living in the same home, had vastly different lives/lifestyles? Yes. Did I have a younger sibling that got on my nerves? Yes. Was I pretty much a loner in high school? Yes. Fast forward to the present day, as the mother of two teenagers, the scenes in which Alike was in school and making attempts to socialize outside of school made me wonder how close those situations may be to the experiences of my daughters and their friends. I know for a fact that it’s a whole new world for teenagers these days. A whole. new. world. They say pimpin’ ain’t easy, it’s nothing compared to parenting!
I REALLY want to speak on some specific aspects of this movie that made me vacillate between wanting to laugh/cry/shake someone/hug someone but since I promised no spoilers I’ll just leave you with this line that, though uttered in the movie by a 17 year old, spoke to my heart as a 38 year old woman: “I am not running; I am choosing.” Take from that what you will.
Y’all know I’m a Twitterholic, right? For better or worse, I see a lot of different things (humor, news, randomness, etc.) come through my timeline. Recently, one of the few celebs that I follow, Talib Kweli, retweeted a tweet by MiaX, in which she was telling women not to draw on their brows* or wear weaves. This piqued my interest so I went to MiaX’s timeline to get the context for the statement. There was a succession of tweets that advised women not to make certain physical alterations/adornments (makeup, hair, clothing) because men don’t really like those things. Basically, she was saying that men will look at a woman that’s all done up but they won’t really want to be with her (beyond sex.) The way I see it, if you’re doing those things solely for the purpose of attracting a man, you’re already losing.
I’m a fan of adornment, everything from jewelry to makeup to hair to clothes. For me, it’s not about hiding or being fake but about having fun and switching things up. So what if a chick wants to wear a weave or lashes! So what if she wants to wear a full face of makeup! So what if she wants to wear a body-conscious outfit! So what if she wants to get breast implants! As long as she’s doing it because she wants to, feels good about her look, and, equally as important, it looks good on her, more power to her. If a man, or the next chick, doesn’t like it, they can keep it moving. Yeah, you hear a lot of guys complaining about women wearing makeup and weaves, but, as one of my guy friends told me, if they passed up on all chicks who did, they’d miss out on a lot of women. Besides, it’s just hair & makeup, it’s not personality & heart – and that’s what really counts.
But I digress. That’s not really my point. My point is – Don’t make beauty/fashion decisions solely with the intent of attracting another person. That’s where you lose. Unless, of course, you get paid to attract other people, in which case, party on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying not to try to look your best or be attractive. I’m not even saying that you shouldn’t care whether or not the opposite sex (or same sex as the case may be) is attracted to you. That’s unnatural and unrealistic. What I AM saying is to not care more about that than about feeling good about yourself – and looking good for yourself. Adorn yourself FOR yourself!
Granted, we’ve all seen chicks that appeared to be “doing too much” but that’s fodder for another post.
*I have to add here that I agree that eyebrows shouldn’t be drawn on, as in you shave yours off and draw some on. I still stand by “Do You” but that is just never a good move. Filling your brows in is altogether different and wholly acceptable.
What do you think, should women dress with men in mind? Women readers – do you?
On January 16, in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, the Corcoran Gallery of Art – which is usually closed on Mondays – was not only open, but it also offered FREE admission. This gave me the perfect opportunity to check out the 30 Americans exhibit. I had been wanting to vicit this exhibit for awhile so it only made perfect sense that I take advantage of the Corcoran’s generosity.
The exhibit, which featured works of art by many of the most important African American artists of the last three decades, was amazing. There were pieces by artists with whom I am familiar such as Kehinde Wiley and Jean-Michel Basquiat, as well as many by other artists that I was glad to discover, such as Mickalene Thomas, who created some of my favorite pieces in the exhibit. 30 Americans will be on display at the Corcoran until February 12, 2012, so if you get the chance to visit, I suggest you do so.
In addition to the 30 Americans exhibit, I also visited two exhibits which were ending on that day – Gordon Parks: Photographs from the Collection and Hank Willis Thomas: Strange Fruit. Of course Gordon Parks is a renown photographer and I had seen many of his photos before but I was less familiar with Hank Willis Thomas. His exhibit was actually my favorite of the three (one of his pieces was included in 30 Americans as well.) Strange Fruit investigates the disturbing history of lynching photography from the turn of the 20th century interspersed with contemporary representations of athletes. It was quite moving.
I’m glad that I had the opportunity to experience such wonderful and thought-provoking works of art.
What’s the last work of art (movie, exhibit, book, etc.) that was meaningful to you?
If we’re connected via Twitter or Facebook, there’s no doubt that you’ve seen me mention (repeatedly) N Street Village, an organization based in Washington, DC, whose mission is to “empower homeless and low-income women to claim their highest quality of life by offering a broad spectrum of services and advocacy in an atmosphere of dignity and respect.”
The mission of N Street Village is near and dear to me and I support the organization in any way that I can from volunteering and donating money to spreading the word about their mission, events and needs via my various social networks. That being said, imagine my delight when I was contacted by Benevole and asked to serve as official press for their Night of Royalty event, benefiting no other than N Street Village. I didn’t hesitate to say “count me in!”
Benevole is an organization whose mission is “to advance human rights by meeting immediate needs and building lasting partnerships with community organizations operating on the front-lines.” The organization recently celebrated one year of service to the community and I look forward to seeing how their mission and vision manifest in years to come.
The Night of Royalty event promises to be a good time (even the men have to wear high heels!) for a great cause. If you’re in the DC area, please join us in a night of mixing, mingling and supporting an organization which has done such great work for the Washington, DC community.
DATE: Saturday, January 28, 2012 TIME: 7-10pm LOCATION: The Dunes 1402 Meridian Place, NW Washington, DC 20010
I don’t watch a whole lot of daytime TV (thank goodness!) but yesterday I happened to catch Dr. Drew’s LifeChangers and the topic got me so fired up that I felt compelled to write a post about it.
They spotlighted a 10 year old boy is who has been bullied incessantly because he has big ears. This child cries on a daily basis because of this bullying. This child hides in the bathroom at school because of this bullying. Children are not only calling him names, which would be bad enough, but they are doing things such as flapping his ears – invading his personal space by putting their hands on him. That shit is crazy! I abhor teasing, though I realize that very few children will leave childhood not having been touched by it to some degree. This level of bullying though, causing kids to cry on a daily basis, causing kids to doubt themselves, have low self-esteem, act out and more – this craziness has got to stop. It just has to!
I have two teen daughters and my younger one is a sensitive type. She has definitely had instances in which kids at school were not so nice to her. Thankfully it never got to the point that it did with this boy, but I know that it happens much more often that it should. Of course, we’ve all heard the stories of the children being bullied to the point of committing suicide, often, but not always, due to sexual orientation. This has got to stop!
One thing that really struck me about this story was when the child and his mother said that the teachers and administrators weren’t being too helpful. This bullying was happening on school grounds so, to me, there is no excuse for that. Of course no one from the school was there to speak, but, again, as a parent, I have seen this nonchalance in action. This “well, we can’t really do anything about it. kids will be kids.” attitude. I’ve talked to kids who have gotten into fights at school and when I ask “where were the teachers?” they were nowhere to be found. Or, worse yet, they were around but did nothing to intervene. This makes me sick to my stomach.
Trust me, I know that not all bullying takes place at school. Facebook has become a hotbed for bully behavior. Kids are posting videos of their bullying and fighting on YouTube. So yeah, I know, it’s not all about the actions at school. When it is happening at school, though, the staff needs to intervene. They need to call parents, hold workshops – whatever. Parents need to teach their kids that this behavior is WRONG. A child being teased and bullied everyday -for any reason- is wrong! Unfortunately, I have seen some parent behavior that has made me say, “Oh ok, now I understand why that child behaves that way. We have a couple of lost generations, not just one. Yet and still, when I see stuff like this, it just breaks my heart and it shouldn’t be happening. This child asked his mother if he is a human being. HE ASKED HER IF HE IS A HUMAN BEING. That alone was enough to compel me to write this. The fact that some bad ass little kids have broken another child down to the point that he questions his humanity. This has to stop!
If you have a child, know a child, work with children, see a child on the street…please, please, PLEASE tell them and more importantly, SHOW them, hat teasing and bullying is wrong. There is no excuse for it. Our parents taught us “sticks & stones may break your bones…” Bump that, words DO hurt! Teach the children.
Well, it’s that time again. The end of one year and the onset of a new one. As such, I thought I’d do one last post for the year. I’m talking about some of my favorite discoveries of 2011 and more. Hope you like it! Disclaimer: This video is not an exercise in Public Speaking 101. It’s totally off the cuff, so please disregard the “ums” and random pauses.
Depending on how long you’ve kept up with The Rasberry Experience, you may or may not be familiar with my previous mission: look great by 38! Earlier this year I had the idea that I needed to get my ish together in the physical realm – pretty much a head to toe makeover. I just didn’t feel like I was fly enough, you know. I had some spots that needed to get tighter and righter. Well, that mission was NOT accomplished. I won’t even tell y’all how much weight I’ve gained, but suffice it to say, I weigh as much now as I did with my full-term pregnancies. Yeah, it’s THAT serious. Of course, I carry it well, but that’s beside the point.
Fast forward to December 2011. While other folks were getting handbags and perfume and iPads (oh my!) for the holidays, all I got was a prescription for blood pressure medication. It wasn’t even gift-wrapped! Both of my parents died of high blood pressure related conditions so to say that I have a genetic predisposition is an understatement. I was good until this year though. I’m guessing the combination of age, stress and me sitting on my ass finally caught up to me. So… a new mission is on the horizon…feel fine by 39! I still need to accomplish my ‘look great by 38′ goals, but now I also have to think about managing my blood pressure. Sigh.
In brighter news: I thrifted a nice, black J. Crew blazer last week!
I no longer celebrate holidays, but I know many of you do, so I thought I’d share a few great gift ideas for you last minute shoppers (which I often was when I was into such things.)
The Debate Game is a board game that sparks lively debates by posing questions that make you think about (and share) your thoughts, opinions, values, etc. No more boring parties where everyone is sitting around waiting for someone to say something witty! The game can be played with as few as two people and as many as your heart desires. Wanna REALLY get to know someone? Play The Debate Game with them! Check out the YouTube channel. *This is a great option for a low-key New Year’s Eve party.
For the nail polish fanatic (or the person who needs to break out of the clear polish rut) in your life, Sephora by OPI has put together a fabulous collection of 18 minis – one for every holiday party outfit! Nail polish is one of my weaknesses. I have far too many and I know it, but hey, it’s the holidays! Besides, who couldn’t use just a little more polish?
The DIY design fan in your life is most likely also a fan of the blog, Design Sponge. This year, they came out with a book that brings some of their best ideas to life. I’m a tactile person, so though I spend a lot of time online, I am still very much a lover of books. Give this book as a gift to anyone who likes pretty things – or pretty books.
In my best Mary J. Blige voice – “You know I love music.” There’s a song out there to suit every emotion/mood/time of day. Let me tell you, if I ever lost my music collection, I would cry real tears. It’s bad enough that I lost everything that I had on cassette. I know there are plenty of free music sharing sites but I’m old school, I still buy music. That being said, I think an iTunes gift card makes a perfect gift, especially if you aren’t sure of what type of music a person likes or what they already own.
Almost as essential to my life as music is fragrance. Perfumes, lotions, oils, candles, incense…if it smells good, I want it. I recently became aware of Lush Cosmetics’ Gorilla Perfume line. They’re super concentrated and I always receive compliments when I wear my favorites. This is an exclusive set, available only online, featuring eight different scents. They can be worn alone or paired up for a special scent that will have your gift receiver turning heads.
I consider each of these to be a great gift because not only are they relatively inexpensive, but I would love to receive each (or all) of them. – HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
What are you planning on giving (or hoping to receive) this year?
A few days ago, through the wonder of Facebook, I came across an article – 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. I usually approach lists such as this with a full shaker of salt and a carefully honed side-eye. After all, there’s always someone out there ready to give their two cents plus on what folks should and shouldn’t do. As the saying goes, “Opinions are like ***holes. Everybody has one.” This list turned out to be a gem! It is chock full of sound, common sense advice on just what it purported to be – things we should stop doing to ourselves!
I saw myself all up and through this list. I strongly suggest that you read it and get to work on stopping these activities ASAP. Easier said than done, I know, but baby steps, people, baby steps. Though I could relate to several of the items (more than I’d like to admit), three of them stuck out to me:
Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work.- This is me all day; especially lately because I was stung badly earlier this year. I usually always have walls up and that time I finally let someone in and wouldn’t you know it – disaster! So why would I want to go through that again? Walls back up! I don’t want to be this way though. Working on it.
Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen.- No one could ever accuse me of being an optimist. That’s just never been one of my qualities. I have a bad habit of focusing on what could go wrong as opposed to what could go right. I really need to stop doing this!
Stop running from your problems. – I am the least confrontational person you’ll ever meet. When it comes to other people, if there’s a problem, I’ll just leave or cut you out of my life. If I hate my job, I’ll quit – or force you to fire me. However, when it comes to ugly life issues that I have to deal with, I’ll push them to the back burner until they just get too ugly to ignore. HORRIBLE habit. Must fix this!
When I posted the article on Facebook, someone replied that this would serve as their New Year’s resolution list. I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions, but this is definitely a valuable list and I know that I need to make the conscious decision to change some of these actions. Thankfully I’m not guilty of all 30 of them!!
Can you relate to any of the items on this list? Are there any that you would add?
Well…I know I said I was not going to blog anymore, but I couldn’t stay away from y’all for too long. You know how it is sometimes when you’re “going through” and barely feel like doing the things you need to do, let alone some things that are optional. That’s how I was feeling about blogging. That was then though and this is now, so as the the famous saying goes, “I’m baaaack!”
Now that I’m back in blog mode, where do I start? The weekend! This past weekend was super fun. I started Saturday off by doing the makeup for a video with the fabulous Colie Williams. If you’ve never heard of her, please get familiar. I’ve had the pleasure of hearing her sing live several times, and I also have her cd, Light Up the Darkness, which is available on iTunes. Here are some pics from the set:
Before
After
After the video shoot, I made my way down to the Vintage Collective Volume 2. If you’ve read my blog before you know how I feel about vintage accessories. I just can’t have too many! ZuluGypsy Vintage and Planet Maud Vintage have gotten me hooked. Though I eyed a few cute pairs of Found Objects earrings, I figured if I didn’t get any when they were discounted on Black Friday, it’d be kind of stupid for me to get them at full price a couple of weeks later. I walked away with a fly wine colored American Tourister bag that some might use as luggage, but I would totally rock as a purse.
The remainder of my weekend consisted of ‘Life at Lush Cosmetics’ and sleep. Boy, do those weekends go by fast when you try to get some sleep!
Well, folks, I’m officially back in action, so look forward to more posts and THANK YOU for keeping up with The Rasberry Experience on Facebook while I’ve been on this short hiatus.
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I won’t even tell y’all how much weight I’ve gained, but suffice it to say, I weigh as much now as I did with my full-term pregnancies. Yeah, it’s THAT serious. Of course, I carry it well, but that’s beside the point.
